I wrote the first draft of this post just 4 hours after resigning my 50+ hour a week position as the only sales representative at a fitness center and I can't help but feel that quitting was the best, and hardest decision of my life- note: literally shaking in my office worrying that I was making the worst decision of my life.
I made good money, had the security of being 'needed' as the only sales rep (as everyone before me quit or was fired...), and yet I lived the better part of the past month and a half in a fog of sadness and dread. Is working a job that mistreats you and steals your soul worth money and security?
I began to turn this question over in my head as student loans and bills loomed large in front of me. The drive to be financially secure at the cost of all else ate away at me, as something I already knew became clearer each day: My creative, entrepreneurial spirit is not cut out for a mundane, desk job that overworks and underappreciates employees!
I've always had a flair for the creative, self-starter attitude - my primary expression being dance. And my draw towards all things artistic and entrepreneurial is undeniable. However, it always seems that the more I stifle my calling (although I'm not sure I truly know my calling) and try to tell God + the universe, "No, I need money, I'm going to go this way..." the more I feel out of place, suppressed, and depressed.
Society as a whole has become far too accepting of 'buckling down' into a job that offers you money and security- even better, fight for the best benefits you can find. And while those things are important and sometimes unavoidable, I always come back to the realization that all of that is just stuff. Money will always be difficult to come by and there will never be enough - unless I change my mindset about what I view as enough! My student loans and my bills are not going anywhere.
Do I really want to allow myself to work a job that gives me good money, but stifles my self-expression? Do I really believe that after just 7 or 8 more years of torture and misguided motivation, I'll finally get to live the life I want?
Life is fleeting, opportunity is rare, and I can't believe I'm saying this...but YOLO! I know I'm not alone in the daily daydream of being in charge of your own time, making your own decisions, and choosing the business you want to be in, not just choosing the business that gives you the most. And the truth is that most of us are afraid!
A recent article from Harvard Business Review states that, "courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to persist in spite of it." What if a comfortable life and livelihood that actually makes you happy is one where you do have fear, but learn to surrender that fear and turn it into trust and learning?
The same article goes on to state:
Learning is a powerful antidote to fear of failure, helping to mitigate one's doubts by increasing one's capabilities, But uncertainty is real and constant. Uncertainty and ambiguity are defining features of the challenge of entrepreneurship. There are always unknown unknowns out there, so a recognition that one will never have all the information one wants - that one will always have to keep learning - is important.
Ok, I know. You're reading and thinking, "yes...yes...but how?" and I can honestly say that there is no secret recipe for breaking the cycle of fear (whether from your job or something else). The only thing that I can say is that it's easy to think, and harder to do.
I cognitively realized that I hated my job and it wasn't healthy to stay, and then cognitively held myself back by thinking about all of the bad things that could happen, without giving all of the extremely good things that would happen a fair shot at informing my decisions.
Finding the balance between "thinking" and "doing" was the most valuable step I consciously took. Acknowledging the bad things, logically preparing for them, and then also allowing yourself to realize what you stand to gain by taking a step towards where you're called to be, even if you aren't sure where that is!
And then go out and do the things you dream of. Go and live a life true to who you are designed to be!
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